So, years ago, after the birth of their second child, Ted expressed to his wife his desires to explore new areas of lovemaking. His first ventures into erotic fiction, and later pornography, had stirred primal feelings he had never felt before, and he wanted to share and explore these new things with his wife. Sex with his wife had always been very straightforward, the sort of thing more than one stand-up comic described as ‘man-on-top-get-it-over-with-quick’. Always the same routine: some kissing, some light petting, gentle foreplay, then missionary position. Anything deviating from the routine was ‘perverted’ to his wife, who also grew up in the church. Things like oral sex of any kind or role playing were not an option. But the more he read and saw the things he was missing, the more he wanted to experience them. He tried subtly at first, initiating things in the bedroom, but was always rebuffed. Discussing the ideas in conversation met with the same rejection, along with an. "A men's shirt is a shirt worn by a man, sir," she said. "It'll be a men'sshirt when you put it on."Obediently, I took it and went to the changing room."I don't know about this shirt," I said. "The sleeves are really narrow,aren't they? Aren't men's shirts supposed to have wider sleeves." Traditionally, men's shirts sleeves are indeed wider than ladies', toaccommodate for the extra muscle," she said, "But in your case, as you willcertainly agree, there's not much to accommodate for, is it?"Blushing, I turned my head down."Sir?" she said. "I asked you a question." No, sorry," I stammered. "You're right." I'm glad we agree," she said, "It looks like a good fit, but I would waitwith the verdict until you're given the right undergarments to go along withit." Undergarments?" I asked worried."Of course, sir," she said, "You've noticed yourself that the fits moresnuggly than men's shirts. If you wore a t-shirt underneath, it would bunchup quite unsightly. Anyhow, madam has requested a new.
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